What A F*cking Terrible Niche Practice
Pulling this beat has to be depressing as hell -- particularly right before the holidays.
Morning Docket: 08.27.15
* Should town clerks opposed to gay marriage be required to issue licenses to all couples? The Sixth Circuit says.... [How Appealing] * John H. Ray III, the African American ex-associate at Ropes & Gray who claimed the elite firm discriminated against him, loses in court again, this time before the First Circuit. [National Law Journal] * Vester Lee Flanagan aka Bryce Williams, the Virginia television broadcaster who killed two colleagues on-air before killing himself, was also no stranger to the legal system: he filed multiple lawsuits alleging racial discrimination. [New York Times] * Why are in-house lawyers more likely than their non-attorney corporate colleagues to fall for phishing emails? [ABA Journal] * Dewey know when the prosecution will rest in this seemingly endless trial? Probably today. [Wall Street Journal] * State judges get nasty with each other in Oregon. [Oregonian] * Federal judges around the country are advocating for a second look at how defendants get sentenced. [New York Times] * The Dilly in Philly: Paul Clement v. Ted Olson. [Am Law Litigation Daily] * A T14 law graduate turned "traveling artist" gets charged with criminal sexual assault in Chicago. [Chicago Tribune] * Speaking of sexual assault laws, Emily Bazelon explains how the St. Paul’s Rape Case shows why these laws must change. [New York Times] * Update: convicted Colorado movie theater shooter James Holmes didn't get just a life sentence, but 12 life sentences -- plus 3,318 years on top of that. [CNN] * Linda Hirshman, author of the forthcoming book Sisters in Law: How Sandra Day O'Connor and Ruth Bader Ginsburg Went to the Supreme Court and Changed the World (affiliate link), explains how Justices O'Connor, Ginsburg, and Sotomayor brought wisdom to SCOTUS (but where's the love for Justice Kagan?). [Slate via How Appealing]
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Morning Docket: 08.10.15
* Hot on the heels of the news that the majority of students enrolled in California's "failure factories" unaccredited law schools drop out before graduation, legislators are pushing for the state bar to do something about it before even more prospective students are conned. [Los Angeles Times]
* Robots will be coming for your jobs more quickly now thanks to the largest law firm in the world. Dentons invested an untold sum in Ross, an app that will inevitably replace first-year lawyers by utilizing super computer Watson's artificial intelligence to perform legal research. [Globe and Mail]
* Slowly but surely, the legal industry is making a comeback in terms of headcount. Sure, the entire profession is only employing 3,500 more people now than it was at this time last year (sorry about that, law school grads), but it's still an improvement. [Am Law Daily]
* Just because it doesn't look like the Securities and Exchange Commission has been doing anything doesn't mean that lawyers at the agency have been twiddling their thumbs. They've got some major things in the works, they swear. [DealBook / New York Times]
* "I wonder how it feels to save the life of a mass murderer? Good job." In a shocking verdict, convicted Colorado movie theater shooter James Holmes was sentenced to life in prison. All it took was one holdout juror to take the death penalty off the table. [Reuters]
Morning Docket: 08.04.15
* Her dad's the ringleader, he calls the shots; she's like a firecracker, she makes it hot: Since "everything is working perfectly" under pop star Britney Spears's conservatorship -- which has been in effect for the past seven years -- it'll likely stay that way indefinitely. [Us Weekly]
* Well, that was fun while it lasted. The ABA did away with its year-old LSAT exemption rule in record time. Law schools will only have until 2017 to lard up classes with students who haven't taken the exam. Good luck and Godspeed. [National Law Journal via TaxProf Blog]
* Simpson Thacher isn't the only Biglaw firm that allegedly blew it when it came to turning hundreds of General Motors' secured creditors into unsecured creditors. Mayer Brown is also facing twin class-action suits for this $1.5 billion boo-boo. [Crain's Chicago Business]
* Good news, everyone! The ABA approved a merger between Rutgers Law-Camden and Rutgers Law-Newark, and we're going to look at this in a positive light because theoretically speaking, there's now one less law school out there. [MyCentralJersey.com]
* "Are Law Schools Skewing Job Placement Numbers?" In a word, yes. Not to be a complete pessimist realist, but come on, you know most school-funded positions exist solely to prop up any given law school's less-than-pleasing job statistics. [Bloomberg]
* When you've taken the lives of so many, no one cares about your sad life story. A Colorado jury inched closer to inflicting the death penalty upon convicted movie theater shooter James Holmes in the second phase of his trial's penalty portion. [New York Times]
Morning Docket: 07.24.15
* Most Biglaw firms are downsizing their office space, but Ropes & Gray just inked a deal to increase the size of its New York office by 40,869 square feet. It'll occupy more than 300,000 square feet in Rockefeller Center. Hope the firm has lawyers to fill it! [Commercial Observer] * Yikes! Thanks to a string of lateral hires by Buchanan Ingersoll, the newly formed Philly office of Novak Druce appears to have been left without a single lawyer. The firm decided to "refrain from commenting" on the departures. [Legal Intelligencer] * The same jury that found James Holmes guilty of several counts of murder in the Dark Knight movie theater massacre completed the first phase of sentencing and decided that aggravating factors existed for him to incur the death penalty. [Los Angeles Times] * A former court clerk in Indiana is suing because she claims she was fired for refusing to process same-sex marriage licenses, even though doing so went against her "sincerely held" religious beliefs. We may be seeing a lot more of these in the future. [Indy Star] * Per Texas prosecutor Warren Diepraam, medical examiners have ruled that Sandra Bland's death was a suicide by hanging, and he has "full faith" in the autopsy results. The community remains outraged, and investigation into the case is ongoing. [NBC News]
Morning Docket: 02.05.15
* Lindsay Lohan and her mom are suing Fox News with claims the TV network defamed them by saying “Lindsay Lohan's mom is doing cocaine with her.” Legal experts are of the opinion the Lohans must be doing lines if they think they'll win. [U.S. News & World Report] * A prospective juror in the Colorado movie theater massacre case was released after telling a judge she brought her unvaccinated grandchild to court and ripping her hair out. Well, that's one way to get out of jury duty. [Aurora Sentinel] * Justice Elena Kagan says that if she hadn't left her Harvard Law deanship to become solicitor general, she "[doesn't] think [she] would be doing law, quite honestly." The Supreme jurist says that "[i]t shows you how weird life can be." [Supreme Court Brief] * Lawyers in New York are worried that if the state adopts the Uniform Bar Exam, the "gold standard" of having passed the tougher version of the New York exam will be devalued. Aww, sorry about your butthurt. Get well soon. [New York Law Journal] * Fresh off an 18-month tour of racking up insider trading convictions as a federal prosecutor in the Southern District of New York, Richard Tarlowe will join Paul Weiss to focus on white-collar criminal defense. Best of luck. [DealBook / New York Times]
Morning Docket: 12.22.14
* Florida Judge Cynthia Imperato was "devastated" after a jury found her guilty of DUI and reckless driving charges, but we imagine the judge may be more devastated by the fact that she's a sitting judge who's been sentenced to 20 days of house arrest. [Florida Sun Sentinel] * David Schwimmer, best known for his role as Ross on Friends, has been cast as lawyer Robert Kardashian in an O.J. Simpson true crime television miniseries. He surely knows it'll take a lot of "unagi" to play the role just right. [Rolling Stone] * If you have to debt finance your J.D., you're going to in for a rude awakening when you graduate and the loans start coming due. FYI, "lot[s] of graduates [are] buried in private student loan debt with not enough income to repay it." [Forbes] * The parents of James Holmes, who's better known as the alleged shooter in the Aurora movie theater massacre, have begged for him to be spared the death penalty ahead of his trial, but prosecutors say that in this case, "justice is death." [Denver Post] * When it comes to Russia, "[a] lot of firms are thinking about pulling out.” That's what she would've said if she were a managing partner. Biglaw firms that have been rocked by the ruble's ruin are telling lawyers to leave before they're laid off. [Am Law Daily] * Binder & Binder, the National Social Security Disability Advocates® whose late-night TV commercials you've grown to love, has filed for bankruptcy. The firm's headcount will likely drop by more than half because of this. Yikes! [WSJ Law Blog]
Morning Docket: 02.28.14
* For the first time ever, someone managed to record secret video footage at SCOTUS during oral arguments — and, of course, it’s secret video footage of the McCutcheon protestor’s outburst. You can check it out after the jump. [Reuters] * After a brief hospitalization yesterday, Attorney General Eric Holder was discharged from the hospital with a clean bill of health. It looks like he won’t have to go to one of those Obamacare death panels after all! [Washington Post] * “The trajectory of an associate in a law firm has changed irreversibly.” Ain’t that the truth. But seriously, what happened to all of the Biglaw lawyers who were Lathamed way back in 2009? Here are some of their stories. [Am Law Daily] * More law schools are trying to convince students to attend by offering scholarships. Tulsa will toss you cash if you’re from the sticks, and TJSL will guarantee you money if you’re smart. [National Law Journal] * A trial date has been set for accused Colorado movie theater shooter James Holmes. Get ready to see this crazy face on HLN 24 hours a day while Nancy Grace offers her ever insightful commentary. [CNN] (Keep reading to see the now legendary Supreme Court oral argument protest footage.)
Morning Docket: 11.22.13
* Former U.S. Attorney Neil H. MacBride will be joining Davis Polk as a partner in the firm’s white-collar defense practice. Nice work, DPW — he’s actually kind of cute. Earn back that rep! [DealBook / New York Times] * Matthew Kluger, most recently of Wilson Sonsini, was disbarred in D.C. following his insider trading conviction. His criminal career apparently began while he was still in law school. Sheesh. [Blog of Legal Times] * Kent Easter, he of the “I am but a spineless shell of a man” defense, was just on the receiving end of a mistrial. It seems the jury was totally deadlocked. Guess they felt bad for him. [Navelgazing / OC Weekly] * The Iowa Law Student Bar Association supports the school’s decision to cut out-of-state tuition by about $8,000 because to stand against such a measure would be absolutely ridiculous. Congratulations on not being dumb. [Iowa City Press-Citizen] * Apple won more than $290 million from Samsung in its patent infringement retrial. Siri, tell me what the fifth-largest jury award in the U.S. was in 2013. OMG, I didn’t say delete all my contacts. [Bloomberg] * The trial for James Holmes, the shooter in the Aurora, Colorado movie theater massacre, was delayed by a judge until further notice. A hearing has been scheduled to reassess the situation in December. [CNN] * Myrna S. Raeder, renowned expert on evidence and criminal procedure, RIP. [ABA Journal]
Morning Docket: 06.05.13
* Meow! An ethics complaint has been filed against Judge Edith Jones, the judicial diva herself, over insensitive comments about race and the death penalty that she made at Penn Law. [San Antonio Express-News] * In the pissing contest over judicial confirmations, it’s fair to say that Obama’s recent nominees to the D.C. Circuit won’t receive a hearing, much less be confirmed, any time soon. [WSJ Law Blog (sub. req.)] * Nobody likes patent trolls, not even the president. Obama went on the offensive yesterday, promising to curb unwarranted intellectual property litigation filed by pesky profiteers. [Thomson Reuters News & Insight] * Speaking of patents, there’s a new exchange being formed for public trading rights. Please welcome the Intellectual Property Exchange International, the first exchange platform of its kind. IP: so hot right now. [DealBook / New York Times] * After a review of evidence that Colorado movie theater shooting suspect James Holmes was whacked out of his mind at the time of the shooting, he was allowed to enter an insanity plea. [Bloomberg] * The judge in the Oscar Pistorius case has adjourned the track star’s legal proceedings until August on account of a “trial by media.” We’ll probably continue to speculate about it until then. [New York Times] * A woman is suing because she got her ass kicked by a gang of hookers at a Florida hotel. She claims the prostitutes thought she was infringing on their territory. Nope — she’s just a Jersey girl. [Fox News]
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Morning Docket: 05.08.13
* “Is there a public interest in unwanted pregnancies … that can often result in abortions?” The judge who ordered that Plan B be made available to all women regardless of age is pissed at the DOJ. [The Caucus / New York Times] * Mary Jo White, the littlest litigatrix, will “review” the Securities and Exchange Commission’s policy of allowing financial firms to settle civil suits without affirming or denying culpability, but for now, she’s defending it. [Reuters] * Dewey know what this failed firm is supposed to pay its advisers for work done during the first nine months of its bankruptcy proceedings? We certainly do, and it’s quite the pretty penny. [Am Law Daily] * In a round of musical chairs that started at Weil Gotshal, Cadwalader just lost the co-chairs of its bankruptcy practice and another bankruptcy partner to O’Melveny. [DealBook / New York Times] * Another day, another law school comparison website. Take a look at Law Jobs: By the Numbers, which includes a formula from the laughable National Jurist rankings system. [National Law Journal] * In a move that shocked absolutely no one, attorneys for Colorado movie theater shooting suspect James Holmes announced they will enter a plea of not guilty by reason of insanity for their client. [CNN] * From the “hindsight is 20/20″ file: the judge who presided over the Casey Anthony trial thinks there was enough evidence to convict the ex-MILF. He also likened Jose Baez to a used car salesman. [AP] * Check out Logan Beirne’s book (affiliate link). Even when sensationalizing George Washington’s rise from general to president, attention must be paid to the rule of law. [Wall Street Journal (sub. req.)]
Morning Docket: 04.09.13
* Oh mon dieu, Justice Breyer was inducted as one of just 12 foreign members of France’s Académie des Sciences Morales et Politiques. C’est très chouette pour un Américain, non? [New York Times] * Man, for a four-seeded firm that got knocked out of our March Madness competition after the Sweet Sixteen, Davis Polk is looking great in 2013′s first quarter as far as legal advising in M&A deals goes. [Am Law Daily] * Brown Rudnick picked up a California boutique, and it’ll be doubled in size through lateral hiring. No layoffs are currently expected, but no one really advertises that as a merger selling point. [National Law Journal] * The New York Times: bringing you last month’s news, today! South Dakota is offering a subsidy for law school tuition to keep lawyers in the state. Here’s our post from two weeks ago. [New York Times] * Pace Law School’s “low bono” residency program was praised by New York’s Chief Judge Jonathan Lippman, but if you’ve got other job offers, Dear Lord, take one of them. [New York Law Journal] * AIG wants to prevent Hank Greenberg from suing in its name, probably because it’d prefer not to be known as “the poster company for corporate ingratitude and chutzpah.” [DealBook / New York Times] * “[D]o I cover this really important story and maybe go to jail?” That’s the choice Jana Winter is facing after reporting on James Holmes’s massacre notebook and refusing to reveal her sources. [CNN]
Morning Docket: 04.02.13
* It looks like it’s time for yet another rousing game of Biglaw musical chairs. This time, 11 of Bingham McCutchen’s securities enforcement partners are hightailing it over to Sidley Austin en masse. [DealBook / New York Times] * This week in on-shore outsourcing: there may be a job waiting for you at Kaye Scholer’s new operations center (so new we bet you didn’t know about it), so hurry up and apply, because the interviews are soon. [Tallahassee Democrat] * “We’re trained in the law and persuasion, not firearms.” But maybe you should be? After the targeted killing of attorneys in Texas, prosecutors are now on high alert. [New York Times] * When looking at the current law school model, Paul Caron of TaxProf Blog urges law deans to take advice from Jimmy McMillan because “law school tuition is simply too damn high.” [Businessweek] * Change our admissions practices amid the worst legal economy we’ve seen in decades? “Ain’t nobody got time for that,” scoffed Sarah Zearfoss, director of admissions at Michigan Law. [AnnArbor.com] * Drexel Law will accept applications for its two-year law degree program in May 2014. The higher-ups at the ABA are scheduled to laugh their asses off on or about the same date. [Philadelphia Inquirer] * “[F]or James Eagan Holmes, justice is death.” In a move that shocked absolutely no one, the prosecution in the Aurora, Colorado movie theater massacre case is seeking the death penalty. [CNN]
Morning Docket: 03.28.13
* Based on the justices’ reactions during oral arguments in Windsor v. U.S., there was no defending the Defense of Marriage Act. Not even the Paul Clement, the patron saint of conservative causes could save the day. [New York Times] * Alas, the David Boies and Ted Olson Dream Team stole much of the spotlight from Roberta Kaplan, the Paul Weiss partner who argued on behalf of Edith Windsor in an effort to overturn DOMA. Seriously, you go girl! [WSJ Law Blog (sub. req.)] * Dude, you’re getting a Dell! Alston & Bird and Kirkland & Ellis are the latest firms to join the Biglaw sharks (including Ho-Love, Debevoise, Wachtell, SullCrom, and Simpson Thacher) circling this major tech buyout. [Am Law Daily] * It looks like it’s time for JPMorgan to face the music for its investments in Lehman Brothers, because a federal judge just ruled that the bank cannot “dispatch plaintiff’s claims to the waste bin.” [Reuters] * An alleged killer’s sense of mortality: James Holmes, the suspect in the Colorado movie theater shooting, offered to plead guilty and spend life in prison in order to avoid the death penalty. [CNN]
‘Tell the Truth and Nothing But… Aw Screw It, Bring Out the Truth Serum!’
Ordering James Holmes to testify under the influence of drugs is not only screwy, it just might undermine the whole case.